Choose yourself.

You are selfish and inconsiderate. You are self absorbed and self obsessed. You are egotistical and unkind. You are everything that they don’t desire, and anything that hoards their fire.

Shame; that’s what you have been taught to feel for thinking about yourself and for putting yourself first. And thats how shame largely works; we have been taught into it, taught to feel it, taught to bury ourselves in the blanket when that random cynical being in our surrounding comments on the part of our being that doesn’t appeal him/her. We have been taught to please others, like suffocating ourselves into foot binding. We haven’t been taught to reply in negatives because that makes you selfish, self obsessed and what not.

But it’s time that the idea came as a bombshell. Putting yourself first is not called being selfish; It’s called self care. Thinking about yourself all the time is called being selfish. There is a very fine line between these two things that most of us fail to read.

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others; it doesn’t mean you are self absorbed. It means you are just smart enough to know that you cant help others without knowing how to help yourself first. The voices in your head must be screaming right now, telling you completely otherwise but that’s what the pressure of collective ideas have inculcated into our minds, to put yourself on the backseat and giving the steering of your life into others’ hands, and that’s the tragedy of putting others first, you have taught them you come second.

Selfless. This word is used to exhibit how much you shatter your peace to attain peace for someone else who won’t probably even be pleased. But what you did right there is detaching your existential self and your categorical self from your being. You are losing the sense of being separate and distinct from others and the awareness of the constancy of the self. Selflessness perhaps seen “Universally” or collectively could be seen as good because collectivism inherently blanks out the individual, but in an individual sense selflessness is flawed. All values have to be produced by individuals, so altruism or selflessness requires a sacrifice of time and effort. To see morality in regards to the daily and your long term goals, as individuals, sacrifice is unpleasant. In that moment you lose your sense of self, you lose the sense of logic and reason. And trust me when I say this, no one pours from an empty cup.

You have all the rights to do things that make you happy. You have all the rights to give yourself the love you think others deserve. You have all the rights to not be everyone’s anchor when you see yourself drowning. You have all the rights to keep yourself from grieving how you have loved others so much that you forgot to love yourself, to keep yourself from regretting how you were trapped between your feelings and what other people think and you chose to make everyone happy except yourself. You have every single right to not put yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Love yourself first. Put yourself first. Become your first priority because you are your only long term commitment.

You can please just one person one day. Today, choose yourself.

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